February 9, 2011

weird choice
“winter’s punch”
that was a spell in the ice age expansion

matthew: he’s so sorry
just a clumsy frost giant
big misunderstanding
the travails of adolescence
didn’t meant to collapse your domicile, he was distracted
you don’t have to call his parents, right
he could, like, work it off, somehow

me: can’t he just like cut firewood for you until he graduates?
he can bring you thousands of branches
occasional xc skier

matthew: do you need a small river diverted? that is possible
a bear is big to you, right? thing how long an entire bear would feed your slender frames
he will bring you a bear right now
just wait here
going to get a bear
oh shit was that your car

me: hahaha
they look really similar from up here

matthew: who makes a car in bear colors

me: The new nissan Kodiak

matthew: hahah
also, this is kind of weird, but uh, he was just wondering, since he’s over here anyway, is Kendra home?
no, no message
it’s ok
just nothing
not even a big deal

me: just they’re having a formal in my honor
they’ve done it for the past 80 years

matthew: you could all definitely come
Baffin Island
On the Shores of the Eyes of the Deep
it is still always-night up there
so dress warm
but anyway about the roof
stay in my cave, I guess?
have to ask my mom and stepdad
but totally sure it’d be ok

me: Night and War

matthew: can you say you’re tourists
maybe not mention the property distruction
those are good giant names

me: estranged dad Law living in Days Inn by the onramp
was dating Volcano for a while but she was crazy
now he stays in and watches jeopardy
very amicable, for what it is

matthew: Titans
and their inability to constructively express their emotions

me: this is how we become the world’s worst sitcom writers


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